Anu Valia’s Guide to Curing Your Internet-Addled Brain
Labubu Dubai Chocolate Looksmaxxing Manosphere Performative Male Final Boss. None of these words are in the Bible, and they’re also not really anywhere except for your phone screen or FYP. The internet is, undoubtedly, the world’s greatest tool, capable of connecting us beyond belief and disseminating information on a scale previously unseen by humankind. But via our growing reliance on the algorithm to feed our vanishing attention spans with videos about taping our mouths shut and only eating beef and bone broth, it's also probably short-circuiting our synapses – at least that’s what Anu Valia thinks.
The writer and director – who has helmed episodes of shows like Never Have I Ever, Shrinking, Adults, and And Just Like That…, and whose cinematic debut We Strangers has recently been released – feels strongly about escaping the cursed rectangle known as the iPhone from time to time. She recently gave us some of her best wisdom on how you can do it too.
“If you’re feeling your gorgeous head rotting into internet sludge,” Anu says, “you're gonna need to wrestle that brain back from the internet's clutches. Here's some tips 'n tricks to mending that precious intellect of yours.” Read on for her best ideas.
Get Out Into The World
Write little love notes on scraps of paper. Keep it simple like "you're really special and hot" or "I can't believe you exist, how do you do it". Fold them up and take a walk. Leave your notes in random places, drop them in coffee shops, tuck them into books, sprinkle a little magic in the air for someone else. Also, make a bucket list. You will do none of these things if you stay online. Use this as fuel.
Read Stuff Not On A Screen
Go to the library, pick up ONE art book (too many choices and you'll find yourself back where you started: go in with a PLAN, STAN!) Scan your favourite eight images from that art book, print them out. You are your own Pinterest board now, baby! Also, get yourself a copy of John Waters' book Role Models. He is a Great Appreciator. He will help you also be a Great Appreciator. Read just one chapter of that book and you'll forget the internet exists.
Engage With Art You’ve Never Heard Of
Request a print catalog of Critic's Choice Video (ccvideo.com). Get offline as soon as you put in that request. Wait a few days. When that catalogue comes, go through it, page by page. They have the most random assortment of movies and TV you've never heard of. Learn about Roger Corman's entire oeuvre, polish up your Grindhouse knowledge, get in tune with 80s porn stars.
Learn Something New
Okay go online, but ONLY open up Coursera. Sign up for a class. Take out your little notebook, write notes as you take a lesson. Do a little multiple choice test to prove you've learned something. You're back in school, look at you go.
Be Your Own Art Project
Tweeze your eyebrows. Go ham, don't check your work. Tweeze too much, draw new ones on.
Plunge Hidden Depths In Ordinary Stuff
Here are my suggestions:
- Go over to a friend's house. Sit on their couch. Ask them, "What's been on on your mind?" If they have kids, ask them. Listen. Then share what's on your mind. Go home. You could also Wait for the sun to set, and the streetlights to come on.
- Grab a camera, put Cinestill 800 film in. Snap half the roll. The next day, give the camera to a friend, ask them to take pictures in the daylight before the sun sets. Develop the roll – you'll have 24 hours through the eyes of you and your friend. Reverse if they're a night owl and you're a morning person.
- Rent a DVD. Watch the film with the Director's Commentary. If you don't have a DVD player, go to a friend's house to watch. Make sure to ask that friend what's been on their mind before you watch the movie otherwise it will seem like you have only come to use their DVD player.
