From Mamdani to Kirk - Our Enduring Obsession with Political Wives and What It Says About Us

Words: Anesu Hwenga

The role of the political wife is one of living juxtaposition. From managing a household to priming and posturing just the right amount in order to support your husband’s burgeoning political ambitions in front of a sea of faces and cameras. It’s an infinite negotiation of two worlds all to be met with a polarising reality. The role of political spouses is a global phenomena – one that constantly seeks to be satiated due to our endless appetite for public spectacle.

While there are examples of political husbands bolstering up the careers of successful wives, - like Doug Emhoff, husband to former U.S. VP and 2024 Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris - there are far more examples of women in the supporting chair. Originating from a millennia of stifling societal norms of a woman’s expected function when positioned next to their male counterpart, there’s certainly a gendered perspective to this unique position that cannot be understated. The Lady’s Companion, an Infallible Guide to the Fair Sex, written in 1743, piously dictates: “the female sex ought to maintain a behaviour towards men, which may be secure to themselves without offending them”. 

The role of the political wife is one of living juxtaposition. From managing a household to priming and posturing just the right amount in order to support your husband’s burgeoning political ambitions in front of a sea of faces and cameras. It’s an infinite negotiation of two worlds all to be met with a polarising reality. The role of political spouses is a global phenomena – one that constantly seeks to be satiated due to our endless appetite for public spectacle.

While there are examples of political husbands bolstering up the careers of successful wives, - like Doug Emhoff, husband to former U.S. VP and 2024 Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris - there are far more examples of women in the supporting chair. Originating from a millennia of stifling societal norms of a woman’s expected function when positioned next to their male counterpart, there’s certainly a gendered perspective to this unique position that cannot be understated. The Lady’s Companion, an Infallible Guide to the Fair Sex, written in 1743, piously dictates: “the female sex ought to maintain a behaviour towards men, which may be secure to themselves without offending them”.  

In 1974, TIME wrote: “She [the political wife] becomes public property, an extension of the public man”. That assessment reigns true more than a quarter century later. An archetypal political wife is presently held to similar standards. She is to be inoffensive and passionately dutiful. Interestingly, Connie Schultz, Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist, writer, and educator, who for the past 18 years has also served as the wife to Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown, when interviewed by NPR said in 2011, “I was not prepared for morphing into a mere appendage of my husband’s campaign”.
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Before the 1970 and 1980s public disillusionment of political players in the US, the one single aspect of a politician’s life which was critiqued and analysed by the reporters and the public was their job performance. However, the series of events including the Vietnam War, Watergate and former presidential candidate Hart’s rather unhidden dalliances with his mistress resulted in what many historians regard as having changed the parameters of political reporting forever.

In the face of new media, there are more eyes and ears than ever on the private lives of politicians. We are met with daily print headlines, digital long reads and trending TikTok sounds about politicians. Only just two months ago, was “Mike Johnson Grindr” trending online, whereby an anonymous TikTok user gave Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, a long-vocal anti-LGBTQ+, an ultimatum - swear in newly elected Arizona representative, Grijalva - or he will release Johnson’s Grindr profile and IP address. 

“In an ever-pervasive voyeuristic digital world, while much of our language has changed, our fascination with public figures remains the same.”

More recently, there has been the expected content stream surrounding New York’s first Muslim and youngest ever mayor, Zohran Mamdani’s wife. Dubbed by the New York Post as an “aloof wife”, 28-year-old Syrian-American ceramist and illustrator, Rama Duwaji, has been the subject of many viral posts. 

Whilst some of our language differs from that of older generations, gen z and millennials have created their own way of participating in the public machine of the political wife. Duwaji has become an emblem of a changing society. She feels familiar in a way, an archetype arguably not otherwise seen in the political realm. From her easeful yet directorial IG photo dumps of art and other musings to her 35mm film court wedding pictures, she's unexpected in the face of many traditional political wives. A certified political baddie.

On a different side of the political sphere, Erika Kirk, the widow of polarising figure Charlie Kirk, has taken the political scene by storm in recent months. After her late husband was shot and killed on 10 September, Kirk’s life has changed drastically. With more public appearances than ever, just last month she received her husband’s posthumous Presidential Medal of Freedom. She’s being described as MAGA’s “most dangerous secret weapon”, mobilising Charlie Kirk’s already popular fanbase. 

She had a recent viral moment when she introduced VP, JD Vance, at a Turning Point USA programme at the University of Mississippi, and their embrace led to rumours around whether the two might have romantic links, and if the latter might leave his wife for her. With body language experts chiming in on their hug, analysing signals like hand placement and proximity, as well as people at home, we see yet again, an overt voyeuristic gaze on political wives. Whilst, some have argued Kirk has embraced her new fame and political clout all too well. Without neglecting her agency in this political circus, it is arguably still another illustration of the political wife as a device. She is an appendage of a wider agenda even in lieu of her husband’s presence. 

In an ever-pervasive voyeuristic digital world, while much of our language has changed, our fascination with public figures remains the same, arguably even more so now than ever before. Whether positive, negative, or said in jest, some of our sentiments around political wives could be just another faculty in which society upholds women to an impossible standard. Especially if, ironically, their husbands who are in office or other realms of political influence aren’t measured by the same ruler. Their extramarital proclivities are unchallenged, and even their ability to be just is left untouched. 

Whilst public figures do not afford the same right to privacy as average citizens, it can be argued that at least their families should retain some level of peace. Ultimately, at least one question remains: are we still perpetuating long-held ideals pushed by media juggernauts? Who, as criticised by writer Isaac Chotiner in TNR, love “dissect[ing] political spouses as avatars of feminism, working motherhood, or modern marriage, but almost never as real people”. The verdict is still out, and so is our enduring intrigue.