How Group Chat Beef About Gender Politics Became a Global Movement

Words: Fran Ayala-Rock, Founder - Bitches in Stitches

Has your group chat ever spiralled into a 24-hour debate that permanently changed the vibes? Did it have over 100 people in it? And were they all stand-up comedians?

For me, the answer is yes, to all three.

Somewhere between “women aren’t funny” platitudes and notifications that “[name] has left the chat,” I realised that begging for a seat at the table in the comedy community - and indeed, in this particular groupchat - was pointless. So I decided to build a bigger one.

I started a smaller, Sunday brunch plans-sized WhatsApp group with five femme comedians who, like me, were totally over being booked as the token “female comedian” on a lineup. It didn’t help that the audience was usually rows of brochachos who were repulsed by a period joke, but cheered for 10 different punchlines exaggerating someone’s dick size.

The plan was to put on an all-female comedy night. It sold out six hours after the posters went up in the venue and on our Instagram. In April 2021, Bitches in Stitches debuted at Bobby’s Rabble in Hong Kong. We were all pretty anxious. Despite our nerves, though, the crowd was vibing. The laughs kept coming. The energy was electric. And there was no coming back from that. 

Right after that first show, the venue asked us back for a repeat performance the next month. And again, the month after that. “Could be a regular thing,” I said in our group chat, totally downplaying the fact that I absolutely wanted it to be a thing.
___STEADY_PAYWALL___

“There’s nothing like playing in rooms where we don’t have to shrink, pander, or pretend to be “one of the lads,” and filling them with laughter. Once you’ve experienced that, it’s very hard to go back. So no, I don’t think stand-up needs more “female comedians.” It needs more Bitches”

Whatever the case, I threw myself into Bitches in Stitches, with the obsessive strategising and ferocious motivation required of any founder building something that doesn’t exist yet. If it was only about making a point, it wouldn’t have worked. Our first gig showed me that comedy’s so much better when it makes people feel connected, not alienated. Who knew that performing stand-up would make me take feminism seriously?

I remember that first photo shoot with Bitches in Stitches’ founding members. We all chipped in to rent a studio for the day — but beyond creating content, we also spent several hours talking about what we wanted from stand-up.

We agreed that if we truly wanted to grow the scene, then we had to create more opportunities for non-male comics. And if we wanted to be taken seriously, ticket sales would be the one metric even gender politics couldn’t deny. 

By the end of that summer, we’d built our reputation as Hong Kong’s first all-female stand-up comedy troupe and had residencies in three different venues across the city. And in our first two years, we sold out 30 shows in a row and doubled the number of paid, English-speaking female comics in Hong Kong.

I would’ve happily dined out on those numbers, but changed my mind when I moved back to my hometown, Manila, in 2023. I missed the safety, belonging and empowerment I felt with the Bitches in Stitches community. So in 2024, I decided to expand Bitches in Stitches to the Philippines.

Then something wild happened. I got a Google Alert for “Bitches in Stitches,” but it was for an all-femme comedy night in Manchester that had exactly the same name. Its founder, Natalia Schwartz, and I followed each other on Instagram and after fangirling in each other’s DMs, decided to merge our operations into one global, Bitches in Stitches brand in 2025. I moved to London later that year and started another chapter there, growing what she calls our “FEMpire” even more.

As Bitches in Stitches sold out more shows, increased its members, and got more press coverage, I felt validated for all the work that went into growing and running our community. But even if the stats were undeniable, they were overshadowed by the opinions of people who felt threatened by equity. What really sucked about the backlash is that I didn’t always see it coming. I wasn’t surprised when some incel would stop wanking to a Reddit thread just so he could troll us on Instagram. 

But when female comics (who we’d previously booked) warned newcomers not to associate themselves with us? That caught me off guard. Sis, if your vibe’s more pick-me than stand-up sisterhood, that’s your prerogative. But I’m not bankrolling that fuckery.

The worst part though, is when all the haters get to your people and they decide to abandon ship. Some relationships changed. It also became clear that some people came to benefit from the group, not to help build it. And some moments forced me to learn, quickly and painfully, that not everyone who enters a community is meant to grow with it.

It still stings when I think about that. Despite the growing pains and hard-learned lessons, Bitches in Stitches is still here. Still using punchlines to smash the patriarchy - five years, three countries, 80 shows, and 90 members later.

And our plan is to keep on growing. We’re currently in talks with some women comics in Australia about expanding there in the next year or so. We’ve also applied to perform at Edinburgh Fringe this year — fingers crossed!

If we get in, we’ll be flying in performers from Hong Kong and the Philippines to join our UK team. For the first time, Bitches from every chapter will share one stage, with guest spots for femme/them comedians looking for more opportunities at the festival.

Looking back, it’s kind of unhinged that my told-you-so move to win a group chat argument turned into… this. But so was expecting us to keep waiting patiently for stage time that was never a priority. Was I being Tom Petty? Maybe.

But five years later, it’s turned into something much bigger than me. I got into stand-up thinking it would be another fling with a random hobby, but unlike quad skating and embroidery, comedy’s my end game.

There’s nothing like playing in rooms where we don’t have to shrink, pander, or pretend to be “one of the lads,” and filling them with laughter. Once you’ve experienced that, it’s very hard to go back. So no, I don’t think stand-up needs more “female comedians.” It needs more Bitches — more women who are willing to take up space, back each other, and build their own damn stage.