Missy Flynn's Guide to Hosting the World’s Best Dinner Party
Words: Lauren O’Neill
Make it stand out
There are few people who’ve made hosting into more of an art form than Missy Flynn. The restaurateur is the woman behind London’s beloved cult American spot Rita’s – where the mini martinis are famous and the hospitality is warm and luxurious – and along with her brother Cameron, she’s one half of experimental drinks duo Malik Acid, who design menus taking inspiration from the seasons, and pushing the boundaries of what you might expect to taste in your glass (Londoners can find them collaborating with The Singleton whiskey on a drinks menu for Nature+ at Kings Cross’ Camley Street Nature Reserve, from 30th September to 5th October 2025 – more info at the end).
So of course, now that summer is over and cosy dinner party season is starting to get into full swing, we had to tap Missy up for her advice on being the host without doing the absolute most – from “tablescaping” to dealing with the inevitable mishaps, plus why you should always keep the guest list spicy.
Follow the three golden rules of setting the vibe
One: good music. Music that is a mixture of absolute bangers and hits that people like, but also stuff that gives people time and space to engage in conversation. I like to kind of play some songs that you recognise and you can dance along to and some songs that lift you up and are fun to share with people, but also lots of really nice instrumental music. Kind of what I call interludes, just really beautiful music that sets the tone.
The next thing would be comfortable seating – sitting on a stool is nice, but I don't think you can luxuriate: you can't lean into a lovely lunch or dinner or kind of any kind of occasion if you can't feel relaxed into the space that you're in, so the furniture is really important. And thirdly, of course lighting; changeable lighting. The lighting journey really signifies like where you are in the dinner party and you can kind of guide the mood of everything by suddenly changing the lighting. So that's having lots of candles on hand if you suddenly find yourself running from day to night. Just creating an ambience where people know they're coming into a space that has been created for them automatically puts people at ease.
Carefully consider the guest list…
I think it's always fun to have somebody there who's a few degrees of separation away from yourself. Maybe someone you just met who you don't know very well but you can feel the friendship blossoming, and maybe your other friends or other acquaintances can help lubricate that along, or maybe test that person out and see if they're the right person to be friends with you.
But also just to inject a little different dimension to the whole thing. You’ve got to pick someone who’s got a little bit of confidence about them, who’s not worried about being the person who might not know at least one person in the room. I think the guest list is really important – I think politics often come into guestlists and invite lists and I suppose I understand why that is, but be a bit bold and maybe cut someone out if they're not bringing anything to the table. Cut them off or save it for a one on one! But the dinner party needs everybody to bring something so don't be afraid to be quite ruthless!
Serve drinks you can prep ahead of time!
My favourite cocktail to make is a margarita. They're simple in their way, as you can batch them or pre-batch them so you're not jumping up and down to make drinks constantly. And they're also really customisable, so it's really nice to introduce a little bit of seasonality or something thematic for the occasion into the margarita. I just like to showcase tequila as my favourite spirit and get people on board with drinking better tequila.
Take things going wrong in your stride!
Dinner parties are usually special occasions, and in these cases you really really don't want to get something wrong, so when you do, it can feel like the cards are stacked against you and you just can't regain control of the situation because all you wanna do is get it right. But the biggest mishaps for me are like when you really get caught in the spiral of mistakes happening, and you can't get out of there, and it’s so frustrating because you just wanna prove yourself as a good host but you just can't. But you know, there’s also the usual stuff: things setting on fire, forgetting to turn the oven on – those are classics too.
Remember it’s OK to cut some corners…
The best party food is a mixture of things that take no time at all, and things that do take a little time. Things that come out of a tin are really helpful in a party setting, just to get things going. If you are hosting at home I love stuff like buying vine leaves that you can get at any Turkish shop, they're so nice on plates with some almonds, walnuts, dates and cheese. They’re just these kinds of delicious flavour bombs that you can spread about the place as people arrive. It’s nice to go really simple at the beginning and keep things light and then focus all of your energy into one or two things that are really special and signify a kind of care and a desire to really treat the people that are coming over.
Make it cute and unique to you
Touches on the table make things feel special… I like fruit. I always put lots of fruit out. I think it's also nice to speak to the season by just having fruit that’s of the season. I think it's very classy to have ice available, on the table, too. I think place cards are nice, or we like to write our names on our glasses so we don't go through loads of glassware and we know whose glass is whose. Nice little gifts for people, for each guest is quite fun too!
You’ve got to take some pride in the presentation but also continuity. Pick a theme and stick with it. Don't be distracted by all the things that you see on Instagram or Pinterest and try to do them all at once, but also make it feel like your own – if you want to do something creative, allow it to be an exploration of what you already do and what the people who are coming already expect of you. You don't have to buy into or co-opt somebody else's personality to make your dinner party more fun or more special.
Give people something fun to take home
I’m a big fan of a little take home goodie – whether that's some chocolates or some fruit or takeaway goodie bags for the meal. Just something that you can kind of let people go home with and then the next morning they wake up and remember that they had a great time with you. Or just being a really fucking conscientious host and giving everyone a bottle of sparkling water when they leave because nobody wants a hangover, even if it's a natural wine hangover, no one wants that – I think it’s the worst gift you can give someone, even a friend!
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For those who want to experience Missy’s expert hosting and drinks wizardry first hand, London dolls can get themselves down to Nature+ at Camley Street Nature Reserve, from 30th September to 5th October 2025, where visitors are encouraged to rethink their pre-conceptions about the natural world.
Helping that along, in partnership with The Singleton whisky, Malik Acid have curated a seasonal drinks menu that shows the very best of what nature has to offer right now: there’s a Blackberry Highball (Singleton 12YO, blackberry, wild fennel, soda) plus a Mushroom Old Fashioned (Singleton 12YO, toasted milk, mushroom, autumn honey, marigold) to try out – so if you like your new perspectives on nature with a side of excellent ingredients, this is one to visit. And if you want to learn how to make enviable drinks yourself, there’s a workshop with Missy and Cameron on Tuesday 30th September – grab a ticket here.