Non Threatening Boys*: Big John Is the Only Influencer
Words: Lauren O’Neill
Probably the best gift I have ever received was for my 30th birthday. After eating a meal with my friend Emma on the last night of my 20s, we stood outside a restaurant in central London and she asked me: “Do you want your present?”
This, of course, is one of the best questions in the English language (the others, by the way, are “Would you like 20 million quid no strings attached?”, “Can I get you some cheese on that?” and “Do you want anything from the shop?”), so I answered as enthusiastically as you can when you are full of birthday ice cream, and Emma pulled out her phone, telling me to check my WhatsApp.
My gift had been sent to our chat. To my deep and heretofore unmatched delight, it was a Cameo video from the most beloved man in my life: Romford, Essex’s very own Big John. Big John became famous for his Chinese takeaway hauls on TikTok (which is where I first encountered him; the algorithm once again knowing us better than we know ourselves, for better or worse), wherein give a rundown of his order, and say “bosh” loads, as a way to celebrate the majesty of the meal.
