Angourie Rice’s Guide to Embracing the Cringe
Words: Jenn Lehwald | Guide: Angourie Rice
For Angourie Rice, the key to getting over embarrassment is accepting that most of the time, nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are. It’s a lesson she’s taken from Finding Emily, the new rom-com in which she stars as a psychology student who teams up with a lovesick musician to track down his dream girl.
According to Angourie, the film’s thesis is perhaps best summed up in a single line from one of the many Emilys in the film: “True freedom in this life, is knowing you’re cringe and doing it anyway.” It’s a philosophy Rice has carried with her beyond the film, whether that means going to the gym just to stretch when she worries everyone is judging her, singing made-up songs while riding her bike, or finally wholeheartedly going for the things she once thought were too uncool to admit she loves.
Here, Angourie Rice shares her guide to letting go of the fear of judgment, embracing your cringe and, ultimately, finding a little more freedom in doing exactly what you want.
Remember that nobody is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about yourself
Sometimes going to the gym can be embarrassing because of that sense of comparison. I had a bit of an injury, so I would just go to the gym and stretch, and I was embarrassed because I thought people were probably judging me. But I did it anyway, because really the cruel truth of the world is that nobody is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about yourself. You can be embarrassed for a millisecond and then remind yourself: actually, nobody cares.
Let embarrassment give you a sense of freedom
I think embarrassment is a hindrance to doing things that you want to do. Feeling embarrassed gives you great material, the stories later, but it also kind of makes you immune. Sometimes it’s a bit of a high afterwards. It’s like, “God, I was so embarrassed, but like, I survived.” You can feel like everything is going so horribly wrong and you just want to disappear, and then you’re still alive at the end and that’s okay. Embarrassment can give you freedom.
Remember that embarrassment is a fear of judgment
I think it is the fear of judgment, and you kind of have the power over whether you get embarrassed or not. I don’t think anything in this world is genuinely embarrassing from the outside. If somebody in that situation is like, “I don’t care, I’m just doing my thing,” it kind of takes all the power out of it. It just doesn’t matter anymore. It is largely this internal feeling that you can kind of control in a way.
Stop trying to be cool
I used to be very concerned with being cool and being perceived as cool. For some reason in my head, I got this idea that genuinely caring about things wasn’t cool. And that was embarrassing to me, that I cared so deeply. I’ve been able to let that go. I love knitting. I love having a cup of tea and reading a book and going to the library. It’s very quaint, cozy things that I think for a little bit I was embarrassed by because it just didn’t feel cool. But I’ve gotten over that now, because I really do think owning the things that you love and the things that you care about is the coolest thing.
Ask yourself: What are you afraid of?
I was messaging someone and I was like, “Oh, should I message them? That’s embarrassing. I don’t want to seem too keen.” My friend said, “What are you afraid of?” And I said, “I’m afraid of being laughed at.” That’s what the fear is. And she said, “Nobody can laugh at you if you’re already laughing at yourself.” I thought that is so fun and such a great outlook. If you can have a sense of humour about yourself, it takes all the power away from the people who might potentially laugh at you. And people probably won’t.
Know you’re cringe and do it anyway
The thesis of Finding Emily, which is something that I have taken with me, is: “True freedom in this life, knowing your cringe and doing it anyway.” I think that is a great lesson and something since making the film that I have tried to maintain in my life. Because it’s the way to true freedom.
